DC: Chefs d'oeurve
by trinitytimmy
Summary: I'm not really good at this so you just have to read and find out for yourself


Chapter 1: Prologue

**A DC OC story. Just trying to make my mark. Enjoy**

**P.S: don't read this story if you are a priest or a nun. Other than that, we, the remaining are all**** heathens.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own DC comics, at least not yet**.

**~****Prologue~**

In the immortal words of my favorite black and red cladded antihero: a good OC-fanfic starts with a mile long rant of excited self contemplation; The name of the gamer, DC remastered edition, The spider, dreaming of sunshine... And believe it when it is said DC: chefs d'oeuvre is a good SI fic too.

Coo

You'd think it couldn't possibly get any weirder having to live as a baby when you are mentally, a twenty-one year old man. You get to deal with overbearing adults and rules and puberty all over again.

Eh

But It does, it gets even weirder when you eventually discovered that you ended in the DC universe. God kill me now, I really had my fingers crossed for Marvel, highschool dxd, Harry Potter... Oh, why can't dead men can't be choosers?

If anyone had told me, I would be reincarnated into a fictional universe at all, I'd have said... rubber duck, I don't care where I go, except, I wasn't excepting to wake up in the home of Superman, Batman, the Justice league, the legion of superheroes (a real mouthful), the suicide squad, Trigon, Imperix, the Spectre, Anti monitor... to mention a few.

Heh

Suddenly Death seemed more appealing than facing the above listed, the majority of whom I have no chance of lasting a nanosecond against. But the DC universe wasn't without its entreatment; Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, Phantom girl and a whole lotta hotties. Man! My young blood is pumping, now if only my baby dick could hold a boner.

Coo

But sadly, the sense of reality surmounted my perverted mind, I was a nobody here. I could not feel the legendary force course through me. I was just an ordinary baby, needed to be watched and cater for and I hated it.

Eairh

I mean, not that I wasn't glad to be alive or anything but when I know I was a universal neighbour with people like Superman who could tear through buildings like a knife through butter whereas I was playing Godzilla with Lego constructs.

Heh

Batman with his big brain and amazing gadgets while I was drooling and fiddling with my pacifier.

Heh

Flash's capability of running at FTL speed when I was sleeping like a... baby after a fifteen yard crawl, you'd know it tends to get more than a little frustrating.

Heh

At least, my mom said my adorable baby face could melt the most hardened heart, that's got to count for something, Darkseid could always just take a look at my cuteness and reform his unpropitious ways, it could be feasible.

Coo

Ah! ah! ah! My baby lips are laughing at my misery.

Sarcasm, joy of humor.

Or I could just Goo Goo Ga Ga him to death.

I was being sarcastic again.

Yeah, cuteness and Go Go Ga Ga wasn't just going to cut it in this world of Gods and Monsters. I need to get stronger, faster, smarter and in the process, obtain a harem of buxom DC babes.

And for that to happen, especially the last one, I need... power. Power that would make **Darkseid** lock himself in the deepest darkest hole on Apokolips. Power that would make **Galactus** mouth water in desire. **Power** that would make the Living Tribunal think twice about judging me... damn! now I've got Marvel in the brain, is this fic broken or something?

But you guys get the point, I needed power and I needed it hard and fast, never mind the innuendo. While I would have preferred to take the short and easiest way to attain it i.e. gathering infinity stones and such, I think omnipotence granting gems ain't gonna be popping up in DC universe anytime soon.

That has got me thinking what would Batman do? Accumulate tons of resources and lots upon lots of preparation, we've all seen what the Batfleck did to SuperCavil with kryptonite.

So that's what I'm going to do, Saitama style, train, study and assimilate what this world's got to offer a hundred times over, and climb to the top of hierarchy of might and power. And get cute lady minions dressed in Hooters shorts to serve me for eternity.

That's pretty much what most OCs have done too and it had worked out great for them.

And finally, quoting Thanos, then and only then, would I finally rest and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe.

And all this I would do, after I grow up at least a little and maybe, get some breast milk now.

Neh

All this monologuing is making my baby throat parched.

Neh

And all of you are totally aware that I've been talking in baby language the whole time and everything you've been reading is gibberish to this very point, right?

**Masterpiece@fanficnet**

You know when I said it gets weird when you discovered you, _yadda yadda_ reincarnated, _yadda yadda_ baby, _yadda yadda_ DC universe, scratch that! It's when you discovered you were reincarnated as a baby on an alien planet in the DC universe.

Rann

It was basically another earth, albeit a lot more technologically advanced and most if not all the people possess an aptitude for intellectual prowess, it was like their base intuition, their basic programming of some sort. in other words, they were crazy smart.

It was also the planet I now call home, oh, and I am now super smart too by the way, unlike my old self, otherwise, how'd you think a two year old would be able to write this fic? Just call me Young Einstein from now on.

As of Rann being similar to Earth, it was, in the terms of throwing groundbreaking parties by the Gentries for little reasons. Like the one happening now for my birthday and the public unveiling of the child prodigy.

"Splendid party, if I do say so, Young Jupiter"

And I'm Jupiter by the way, though I would have preferred if my new parents call awesome names like Death killer, Eater of planets, The one above rann, Dartfraider, but nooo, I was named Jupiter and I had listen to the nineteenth snobbish nobleman of the evening call me my namesore just to compliment my party.

"Heh." I answered nonchalantly. I was practically drowning in boredom at this junction.

"Oh, and I heard you just turned three today?"

"Yes, it is on the cake and everything, look, dude don't you have someone else to go fuck with?"

"Oh oh oh, your sense of humor is uncanny, Young Jupiter."

And like that, the true meaning of my words flew over their head. If there is another thing else I loved about this new world, besides their intelligence, it was their complete ignorance of cursewords and earth slangs. Whether it was a result of their high acumen or just pure arrogance, they find cusses and other frivolities beneath their stand.

That meant I was cussing as much as I like, especially in school and they'd probably think I was making up a new word or something. And it was also a nice medium of revenge, I mean, a part of me dies whenever they call me that name.

"Young Jupiter."

"Fuck off!"

"Such genius."

"Greetings to your assholiness, you're looking dogshittingly good this evening, you and your extremely fuckable wife." I said to a man and his missus.

"Why, thank you for that gratifying compliment, your parents should be so proud of you." He and his eye candy were beaming white teeth.

Yes, this is the life, doing what I love and becoming a celebrity for it, I feel so high, like I'm on top of the world and nothing could bring me down.

"Eh, excuse me."

A dainty hand touched my shoulders from behind.

I whirled around, fresh insults on lips, ready to be unleashed from my tongue of fire.

The speaker was a girl, two year older than me and wearing a spaghetti strapped party dress, shame I wasn't a pedophile.

"Could you stop doing that?"

"Doing what?" I donned my best innocent face. Could a five year old girl be on to me?

"Saying those things." She's on to me! panic and run! panic and run! I wouldn't last a day in baby jail. "You are saying the things my daddy says when he stubs his toes or when he and mom are having a _fight_ in the bedroom. He said it's bad for little children to say them. He calls them profanities. "

Bless this poor girl's soul, I don't think she knows the kind of "fight" her parents were having in their bedroom but I just had to know. "And who's your daddy?" I swallowed a gulp.

"Everyone knows of my dad, he's Adam strange," she explained in a non snobbish kind of way.

Adam strange, the Adam strange! Of course, he is the only other earthling on this planet besides me, mental me at least. That means this girl must be his and Alanna's daughter.

"You must be Aleea."

"How did you know my name?"

"C'mon everyone's heard the name of the most beautiful girl in the whole of Ranagar at some point."

A blush enliven on her face. An "Oh," was all she could manage. Yeah, swallow the bait, hook and sinker. Let it be known I felt like a jerk for manipulating a young girl, but I've got a reputation at stake if it gets out that my '_compliments_' were the reverse of what they meant.

"Might your dad or your mom be at the party?" I had to ask since nearly all the influential citizen of Ranagar were present.

I could see sadness seep into the girl's countenance as she answered negative. So it's one of those... situations where the parents are famous and their offspring gets neglected in the process.

This is it, the opportunity to gain a minion/friend, I could prey on — I mean — cultivate the girl's need for companionship, I would cherish and lavish her with attention, make her dependable, wanting and coming back for more. It was a basically a manipulation in subtlety, nothing harmful.

Mustering a suave look, the best a three year old could pull off without seeming constipated, I smiled and drawl "would you like a drink, my lady?". I finished off with a butler bow.

She giggled. A cute sound for a five aged girl.

"You're not normal, are you?" She snorted but took my hand nonetheless. An action that drew a lots of awws from the spectators.

"Why I'm perfectly normal, my dame, it's the world that's wrong." I drawled again in a sage like manner as I navigated our twosome to the fruit juice table.

"Two apple berry squish please, and hurry it up, horseshit, I don't like to keep a lady waiting," I said in imitation of bar scenario, a force of habit from my past life.

The adult in charge of the fruit table only smiled before placing my orders in front of the two of us.

"You shouldn't say mean things like that to people," she whispered

"People shouldn't be so stupid enough to believe everything spouted by a three year old."

"True."

"Why don't we make a toast?"

She blushed "oh, o-of course."

"To Alanna."

"To Jupiter, Happy birthday."

**Masterpiece@fanficnet**

Night soon descended and my party had come to the closing ceremony, not that I had noticed.

Time flies by when you're having fun with your new best friend/minion. Aleea and I, after our drink, went on a sugar powered spree of trying out everything the party had to offer, with me throwing my infamous compliments at one or two adults along the way.

Aleea was fun, she was cool unlike other five year olds, if not for her, I would develop asphyxia from the suffocating numbers of adults present to see the child prodigy and leech off my wealthy parents with extenuated mouth. She would indeed make a good Best friend/minion even if I technically, was older than her by a lot.

We were about to go on another turn on alienistic merry-go-round when the emcee interrupted our fun. "For the moment we've all been waiting for, a closing speech by the child prodigy and boy wonder ( in your faces, Robins), the delicious Jupiter Sat' urn."

...Ouch! A part of me just died a little.

Naming things wasn't my new parents pechant. At all, or maybe it was just an alienish thing.

And so I climbed on to the podium with burning cheeks, amid applauses by the crowd. The platform was very high, I could see Aleea from here.

I cleared my throat and began.

"Good evening, Milfs and Diddos, hope you've had a fuck-tastic time?

The healthy hurrahs that answered wouldn't be out of place at a football stadium.

"I thank you all for coming to celebrate with me even if If you dipshits didn't have to, it really touched my heart."

"AWW."

"And I hope, when you bitches have to celebrate something in the future, I would be there. Thank you and goodnight, baka yarous."

I wasn't the best public speaker back in my old life but this place had given me a sense of confidence. Particularly when the people eat up anything I say like Earthlings runs after a new vogue.

By the time I reached Aleea, I had shaken more hands and taken more pictures than Tom Cruise had done in his entire carrier.

"So, how did I do?" I cracked a smile at the face of horror the girl had momentarily adopted

"You would get in trouble one day, you know?"

I waved off her concern. "Babe, my middle name is trouble."

Actually, my middle name is Venus but there is absolutely no way I'm letting her know that.

We were talking and giggling-when a tall girl, fifteen at best, dressed in a Rann customary maid attire, interjected herself into our midst.

"So sorry to interrupt, Mistress Aleea but we must be going if we don't miss your curfew." Then she noticed me, "Oh, I apologise, Master Jupiter, I didn't see you there." She said bashfully.

"It's okay, and call me Jupiter, beautiful girls like you shouldn't be calling men masters." I articulated, "unless in DoMSub situations."

It would be considered funny, how a three year old like me could make a fifteen year old girl blush, even if said girl doesn't understand the sadomasochistic reference, I should be called the new Giacomo Casanova.

Jupiter Sat'urn Young Einstein Giacomo Casanova had a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

She nodded with red on her cheeks, and with a small satisfaction that my mission was accomplished, I turned to the other girl, "I get off my lessons around noon, you?"

"Yes, noon would be the appropriate time."

And that's how you get a best friend/minion/play date.

I waved goodbye at the girl and her maid as they exited the hall, although I was focused mo checking out the older girl _deretano_. I turned on my heel and walked to my parents, who react as expected, showering me with kisses and lauds of how they were so proud of me.

And there I thought, it's a good day to be Jupiter Sat'urn.

**Moral lesson takeaway: **Babies can talk too


End file.
